"Uh, that sounds like a lot of pressure. Can we maybe find a slightly less pressure-filled task for me?"
imagine steve being really turned on by bucky speaking russian and he tells bucky when they were making out one morning against the kitchen counter in stark tower (they were actually planning to make toast they swear) and bucky starts talking russian to him and he’s murmuring up against steve’s neck in a deep voice and his hands are roaming everywhere and pressing open mouthed kisses against him in between words
and then they see natasha had been standing there silently with a coffee for god knows how long and steve is really embarassed and pushes himself off bucky with a full body blush and refuses to look up from the floor but buck is just smirking at steves embarrassment until natasha just says ‘were you asking steve to marry you? here?" and that wipes the smirk off his face because how could he forget natasha speaks russian and steve is looking up now and grinning because he thought bucky was saying a load of dirty stuff but he was spilling his guts to steve in another language, which is totally cheating, and bucky’s just shooting daggers at natasha
imma need sterek AU fic where Stiles gets fired from pretty much every single job he’s ever had. He’s kind of an asshole and really bad at pretending otherwise, and mostly he’s worked in retail and the food service.
All I can think about is that one post going around awhile back with the guy that handed a cashier a little card with ‘instead of saying this…try this’ and stiles getting handed it and staring the dude dead in the eye and ripping it apart.
Stiles getting fired for throwing a piece of bologna at a customer at the sub shop he worked at.
Stiles getting fired from a restaurant for telling a guy who left his waitress his number as a tip to go to hell.
Stiles getting fired from the Sheriff’s department, or rather the Sheriff telling Stiles to quit his job at the sheriff’s department because he’d rather not have to write him up for sexual misconduct in the workplace. And Stiles thinks THAT’S a little overkill, you make out with one deputy in the supply closet, and he wasn’t even working then.
"Parrish was on duty,"
"Yeah love duty, ya feel me daddy-o.”
"Please just get out."
And so then he ends up getting hired by Derek who owns his own bookstore/gallery that he lives above as an artist. And everyone’s like ‘Derek Hale hates everyone’ and they all have a running pool to see when Stiles gets fired.
And Stiles is his usual brazen self and doesn’t actually care and like a week into his job he tells a customer to eat his shorts. And she gets belligerent and demands to speak with Derek who hears what she has to say (about Stiles’ ‘let your freak flag fly t-shirt’) and says ‘get out’.
And she looks all smug cos she thinks she’s got stiles fired, right, and stiles isn’t surprised so he starts to leave and Derek grabs his wrist and is all ‘not you,” and turns to the lady and says ‘you’
and it turns out that Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski two very misanthropic peas in a very sarcastic pod cos they get each other. And obviously they fall in love and eventually Stiles moves in to the little loft upstairs and takes over most of the bookstore so Derek has more time for his art.
I need it.
Sterek mutually bonding over their distaste for people. That couple. That perfect couple. Holding hands and judging people.